


Eggs-traordinary

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Easter, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-04-02
Updated: 1999-04-02
Packaged: 2018-11-10 22:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: A chase that crosses paths with a very large bunny.





	Eggs-traordinary

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Eggs-traordinary 

Well, Easter is coming up so, I came up with this piece  
of nonsense in 'honour' of it. :-) Just one warning. It's zany. Probably  
a reflection of my personal state of  
mind.

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Due South and Alliance except the Easter Bunny which belongs to anyone and everyone! No copyright infringement intended. All errors are my own. 

Comments, criticisms, easter eggs... are welcome at 

# Eggs-traordinary

by Hsu-Lyn Yap 

"Quick, Ray! Follow that car!" Fraser threw the packages into the back seat, narrowly missing Dief, and jumped into the Riv. Ray simply turned and looked calmly at him. 

"What car, Benny?" 

"That car that just whizzed by! It was a blue Ford with a pink rabbit in it! Hurry, Ray or we might lose him." 

Ray raised an eyebrow sceptically. "A blue Ford with a *pink* rabbit in it? Are you all right, Benny?" 

"Yes, I am, Ray. Please, hurry!" Fraser frowned at him, his fingers itching to snatch the wheel out of Ray's hands. Only his logic and politeness prevented him from doing so. It would not serve any purpose to grab the wheel when the gas pedal was on Ray's side of the car. How did they do it in the movies then?! It always worked in the movies! 

"What did this... rabbit do? Steal a carrot or two?" Ray grinned. 

"Ray! This is no time to be funny!!" Fraser said urgently. "He was speeding." 

"Speeding? This pink *rabbit* was driving the blue Ford? Why didn't you say so earlier?" 

"Ray!! Please!" 

"How did you know that he was speeding anyway?" Ray took his time starting the car engine, and edging away from the kerb. "Do you have a built in radar sensor or something?" 

"He was doing at least 90 kph through a busy city, Ray. It's quite noticeable." 

"I didn't see anything." 

"You must have! He just passed by a few minutes ago!" 

"I didn't see anything, Fraser. No blue Ford and especially, no pink rabbits! Are you sure you are okay? Do you want to get your eyes checked or something? Are you... um... sober? But don't people who are drunk see pink elephants? Or is that..." 

"I am always sober, Ray. I know what I saw!" Fraser interrupted quickly. "There was a blue Ford with a pink rabbit in it, doing 90 kph through the streets of Chicago!" He insisted doggedly. 

"Then let the traffic police take care of him! I mean, that's what they are there for. I'm a detective. I shouldn't have to go round on a wild goose chase like this to nab a speeding car! With a rabbit in it, no less! Hm... a wild *goose* chase to nab a *rabbit*?" Ray laughed in surprise. 

"You are a policeman, Ray. You are supposed to uphold the law and order in the city." Fraser reminded him. 

"Yeah, but traffic duty is traffic duty, you know. Just like the traffic cops don't step on my toes, I don't step on theirs. I'm not like you, Fraser, trying to do everything and be everything at once!" Ray countered. 

"There he is, Ray!" Fraser exclaimed triumphantly as he spotted the blue Ford a few meters in front of them, at a red light. 

"You'd better have a good explanation for this, if it's the wrong car!" Ray warned him as he activated the car siren and flashing lights. They trailed the car for a little way before the driver noticed them following him. He pulled over at the earliest opportunity and waited as the two men approached his car. 

"Chicago PD." Ray flashed his badge and leaned down to look into the car. The smiling face that looked out at him startled him so much, that he cannoned into Fraser who was just coming up behind him. 

"Benny," Ray gulped and blinked disbelievingly. "There is a *pink* *rabbit* sitting in the driver's seat!" 

"I told you so, Ray." Fraser could not help a pleased smile. 

"No, Benny, you don't understand. There is a *giant* pink rabbit sitting in the driver's seat!" Ray's eyes were wide in horror. 

"It's probably just a man in a suit, Ray. One of those novelty telegram deliveries?" Fraser tried to calm him down. 

"It didn't look like it, Benny!" Ray disagreed, swallowed and leaned down again. But Benny was right. It was just a man in a suit. Funny. He could have sworn that it had been a furry face with *whiskers* that had looked out at him earlier! 

"You are pretty well-dressed for a traffic policeman." The 'bunny' said conversationally. 

"Uh... no, actually, I'm a detective." Ray reached into his pocket for his badge again, not remembering if he had shown it or not. 

"Oh? I didn't know that detectives did traffic duty as well. Don't you have murders or burglaries or robberies to solve?" 

"What are you, a smart-ass?" Ray returned snidely. 

"No, a rabbit." He was met with a cheesy grin, showing a pair of over-developed front teeth. 

"Don't try to be smart, all right?! I'm a policeman first, detective 

second. I see someone breaking the law, I take action. And driving at 90 km... I mean, 60 mph through the city streets is breaking the law, okay?" He slid Fraser a warning glance. *Say anything about this, and you can forget about that hockey game on Thursday!* 

Fraser nodded slightly, not even cracking a smile. He understood. 

"Right, buddy. What's your name then?" Ray paused uncertainly before taking out his notebook. Fine mess Fraser had gotten him into this time! How was he expected to 'take action' when he did not even have a ticket to issue?! 

The jolly face beamed at him, the moustache wriggling over the wide smile. "The Easter Bunny." 

Ray looked into the twinkling brown eyes and rolled his own dramatically. "The Easter Bunny, huh? Well, I'm Santa Claus!" 

The brown eyes held a hint of confusion. "I thought the old guy was, well... older! And you are kind-of skinny to be passing yourself off as him! Besides, isn't it a little early to be going around? And why are you a cop? I thought you should be busy at your factory dealing with..." 

"I was trying to be sarcastic!" Ray interrupted in frustration. "What's this with me? Why do I always meet people who take things so literally?! Stop kidding around, all right. What's your name?" 

"Easter Bunny." The man repeated, rummaging around in the glove compartment for something. Various multi-coloured eggs rolled out and dropped onto the seat. Ray looked down at the passenger-side. There was a box on the seat, full of eggs of various sizes, colours and designs. Some were wrapped in foil, others wrapped in crepe paper, some tied with ribbons, some big, some small... they were everywhere! Even the back seat was full of eggs. A few empty baskets lay on the back. 

"What are you? Some sort of Easter Egg delivery man?" Ray asked curiously. 

The man smiled. "I guess you could say that! Here. This is my license." 

Ray took the card a little cautiously. The hand that held the card was furry. *It's probably a glove and part of the costume.* he thought, looking down at the license. To his surprise, the man in the car, in the pink rabbit outfit was also smiling out at him from the driving license. How had they allowed him to use that picture?! And the name. It was exactly as he had told him: Easter Bunny. Was this some sort of a joke?! 

"Look, pal. I'm not finding this funny, okay?" Ray handed the card back to the man. "The license looks real enough to me, but I don't know how they allowed you to use that picture or that name. In fact..." he paused as a frantic barking was heard from Dief. 

Dief had sniffed a familiar scent and had followed it from the car. The smell was awakening the latent tracking and hunting instincts in him. It reminded him of running in the woods, running through the snow, the thrill of the chase... it reminded him of rabbits. 

He tracked it to the other car where his master and that American were standing, talking to someone in it. The scent was getting stronger and stronger every minute. He sneezed and sniffed with a lupine frown. The smell was so strong that there had to be tons of rabbits! But yet, he was only smelling one. How could that be? 

Something was not right. He barked. Whether it was as a warning or just curiousity, he didn't know. He just felt a compulsion to bark at the prey. A silly move, for the prey would have escaped! A face leaned out of the car window, looking down at him, and Dief's bark strangled in his throat. It died away into a little whimper and he turned tail and ran back to the Riv. 

That had to be the *biggest* rabbit he had ever seen!! 

"What's up with Dief?" Ray turned to Fraser who shrugged. He was as confused as Ray was. 

"In a hurry to go somewhere?" Ray turned back to the man in the car. 

"Actually I am." The man smiled a little apologetically. "I still have lots of eggs to deliver, and I'm already a little behind time. That was probably why I was speeding. I didn't realise it." 

"I didn't too." Ray admitted a little wryly. "Benny was the one who saw you." 

"He did?" the man looked over at Fraser who was looking vaguely uncomfortable. The brown eyes looked thoughtful for a moment. "Do you believe then, son?" 

Fraser looked away, looked at Ray and looked away again. His colour rose a little. "I guess I still do." He admitted grudgingly. 

"What's this? What's going on? Believe in what?" Ray looked from one man to the other bewilderedly. 

"The Easter Bunny, Ray." Fraser mumbled embarrassedly. 

"You believe in it still?" Ray stared at him. "You seriously believe in it? What's it got to do with what we have here, anyway?!" 

"Um... well..." Fraser had turned a bright red. He pulled at his shirt collar uncomfortably. "I think you should decide what you want to do with Mr... er..." 

"Hell, you didn't kill anyone, and I don't have a ticket to write you anyway!" Ray snapped his book shut. "Just be more careful. Not every cop 

will be as forgiving as I am!" 

"Thank you." The man grinned. Had he suddenly sprouted more facial hair? Didn't he just have a moustache earlier? How come he had a little goatee now? And they had a tinge of pink in them. Was that a long moustache or did it look like a... whisker?! 

The car pulled away and Ray could not help noticing that the hands that were holding the steering wheel were starting to look remarkably like paws. Paws?! He blinked and shook his head. He had to be imagining things. 

"So, Benny, what's this about the Easter Bunny?" he asked as they walked back to the Riv. "You actually believe in it still? I thought you were the logical one!" 

"I am, Ray. It's just that... I guess it's one of those things that you never really grow out of." Fraser said evasively. 

"I did!" Ray shot him a bewildered look. "I stopped believing in it the same year I realised that there was no way a fat man could make it down a chimney with a sackful of presents! That stumped me for a few years. I mean, we didn't have a chimney, after all. Made me wonder where all my presents came from! I thought Santa had to climb in through the window. Nearly caught my death of a cold that winter, leaving the window open!" Ray grinned. 

"Now, when I hear of men climbing down chimneys or through windows, I get the crime squad over. It's probably a burglary!" 

"That's so cynical, Ray!" 

"But at least it's realistic! Easter bunny indeed! We all know where the eggs come from! The stores! No giant rabbit goes around leaving them for you. If they do, it's probably poisoned or drugged or... what is that?" Ray interrupted himself to stare at the front seat. 

Dief cowered at the back and whimpered, covering his eyes with his paws. He didn't want to know how that came to be there either! One minute it wasn't there, and next minute it was. He had yet to get over his fright at seeing a giant rabbit in a car!! 

Ray picked the little basket up gingerly. A small, colourful foil wrapped egg rolled out onto the leather seat. He made a face and looked up at Fraser, who was also staring, not at the small chocolate eggs, but the two larger ones. They were colourful and had various designs on it like the small ones, but they were not wrapped in foil. In fact, they were not wrapped in anything at all. There was a soft, sharp sound of something cracking. 

Two pairs of eyes (three of you counted Dief) stared at the basket. One of the big eggs was slowly developing a widening crack. The halves fell open and Ray's eyes widened even further. 

"It's... it's a chick?!" He blinked, as the other egg cracked open as well. Two fluffy chicks cheeped noisily in the basket. 

"Where did it come from, Ray?" Fraser appeared to be mesmerised by the two chicks, one blue the other pink. "And I er... I didn't expect them to look like this." 

"Blue and pink chicks?" Ray lifted the basket higher to peer at the baby animals. "Geez! This is weird!" 

A car horn sounded as a car zipped by them. They both turned at the sound. It was a blue Ford. 

"Happy Easter!" A long pink, furry ear waggled out of the car window. The horn tooted again and a hand... or was it a paw?... waved at them. Fraser and Ray blinked hard and glanced at each other. It wasn't... was it? 

"Nah!" They shook their heads and got into the car, Fraser taking over the basket from Ray. The chicks were chirping noisily and Dief peered into the basket with his customary curiousity. Well, at least *they* smelled like decent small chickens! And they were the right size for their smell as well. 

Fortunately for his sanity, he was colour-blind. 

THE END 

Hsu-Lyn Yap 

(c) copyright 1997 

tuktoyaktuk@hotmail.com 

\---------------------------------------------------- 

NB: Apparently, you *can* create colourful chicks. It involves injecting some dye into the egg or something technical like that. The colour will disappear as the baby feathers fall off, and the adult chicken looks like any other normal chicken. The chicks look really cute when you have a boxful of them in various colours! I saw them at the market once. It's weird, but cute. :-) YHL 

* * *


End file.
